The Cat in the (Black) Hat Does SEO

Written by Stephen Jones - 02 Mar 2012

Today is the birthday of legendary children's writer Theodor Seuss Geisel, better known to most as Dr. Seuss and author of The Cat in the Hat. At Fresh Egg, we were wondering what the results would be if the cat swapped his usual hat for one of a darker colour, and tried dabbling in the underhand art of 'black hat SEO'.

Here then (with apologies to the late Dr. Seuss), is the moral tale of The Cat in the Black Hat . . .

Dr Suess' creation The Cat in the Hat tries his hand at black hat SEO

The Cat had a website, all shiny and new

And wanted to rank it way higher than you,

"The Google instructions I've read," said the Cat

"But I think I prefer to try some Black Hat!"

So on went the Cat without any joking,

And published a blog intended for cloaking.

All the URLs took the users towards

A strange site elsewhere, packed with dodgy keywords.

"Matt Cutts might complain,

"But I'll turn a deaf ear!

"And with invisible text

"Make my spam disappear!"

Next up the Cat bought himself some +1s,

From Singapore, Bangalore, China, Taiwan

And anyone, really,

Who'd sell him a tonne.

"My social's all gamed!" said the Cat with a huff

Ensuring his search terms were liberally stuffed.

"Webmaster forum may 'foul' cry,

"But still my profits are sky high!"

And so with these tactics the Cat persisted,

Ethical guidelines he roundly resisted.

With dollar signs large, the Cat's eyes were misted

From using Black Hat to rank unassisted;

.  . . that is until his site got delisted.